Feeding Positions For When Your Arms Are Tired

Nobody warns you how physical feeding is. Eight to twelve times a day, twenty minutes or more at a time, holding a weight out in front of you at a fixed height. The ache in your shoulders and the base of your thumbs is not a sign you are doing it wrong. It is a sign you are doing it unsupported.

The principle: bring them to you

Almost every feeding ache comes from lifting the baby up to the breast or bottle and holding them there with your arms. The fix is always the same: build a platform so the baby is already at the right height, then let your arms rest on it rather than hold.

Get yourself comfortable first, then bring the baby to you. Not the other way around.

Positions worth having in rotation

• Laid back. Reclined against a pile of pillows with the baby lying on your front. Gravity holds them in place instead of your arms. Easiest one for a newborn and the most underused.
• Cross cradle. Good control of the head while you are both still learning. Support the baby's body along your forearm, and rest that forearm on something.
• Football or rugby hold. Baby tucked along your side, under your arm. Takes the weight off your front entirely, and useful after a cesarean.
• Side lying. Both of you on your sides, facing each other. This is the one that saves night feeds. Do it on a firm mattress with no loose bedding, and move the baby to their own sleep space afterward.

Where a pillow actually needs to sit

The common mistake is a pillow under your arms rather than under the baby. If it is holding your elbows up but the baby is still hanging off your forearm, your shoulders are doing the work. It wants to be filling the gap between your lap and the baby, so their whole body is resting on something.

Height matters more than softness. Something that compresses flat within a minute puts you straight back where you started.

Bottle feeding gets the same treatment

Support the baby in a semi upright position with their head higher than their stomach, and rest your bottle arm on a cushion or the arm of the chair. Paced feeding, where you hold the bottle more horizontally and let them pause, is easier on both of you than tipping it up and waiting for it to empty. Swap sides partway through, both to even out your arms and to give them a change of view.

Look after your wrists

Wrist and thumb pain during the newborn months is common and usually comes from repeatedly lifting a baby with your thumbs splayed. Scoop from underneath with flat hands and keep the wrist straight where you can. If pain persists or you get numbness or tingling, get it looked at rather than working through it.

For anything about supply, latch, or feeding that hurts, a lactation consultant or your pediatrician will get you further than any article will.